Conclusion (for now)

I am sitting in the Volunteer Lounge at the Peace Corps office in Sofia, preparing my final arrangements and closing my service, working through a rather large checklist. It has been a relatively uneventful few days, as a cold rain has settled in over most of the country. This also blocked out most of the amazing views that I was looking forward to on the drive back to Sofia - a drive that I've taken so many times. In a way it was rather appropriate - looking out the window and seeing absolutely nothing in the fog... the view was left completely up to my imagination and my memory. This gave me a chance to start thinking of how to put into words what my experience here has been like - something proving to be a very difficult task. I have been preparing for my return for the States, thinking about what my response will be to the inevitable questions of, "What was Bulgaria like?" and "So what did you do in Bulgaria?"

All I can think of at the moment is an incoherent jumble of words and sentences in no particular order:

Bulgaria is... strange, beautiful, cold, ugly, misunderstood, enchanting, unbelieveable. It is filled with people who are incredibly nice and helpful and friendly, yet sometimes closed off and closed minded. Bulgaria is small, yet somehow vast. It's the size of a state in America, but takes longer to travel across than it does to fly back to the States. That travel time is some of the best. You can really see what Bulgaria is made of. It is made of mountains and lakes and sunflowers. It is made of tiny villages filled with massive gardens. It is at times covered in garbage. It is relatively poor money-wise but has one of the richest histories of any country I know of. It is very developed in the cities, and very rural elsewhere. The food is very oily and salty, yet everything is fresh. The tomatoes are the best anywhere.

I worked in an orphanage and a preschool. Kids jumped on my back and yelled my name and gave me hugs every day. They threw walnuts at me. I felt like a hero at times, and a villain at others. I was called a father. I was called a son. I was treated like a member of several different families. I survived winters without heat in sub zero weather. I learned the Bulgarian language and the Cyrillic alphabet. I feel like I did a lot but I have few tangible things to show for it. I did a lot of walking. I did a lot of waiting. I built a fitness room. I taught kids how to read. I couldn't reach all the kids, but I did my best. I did a lot of reflection. I did a lot of growing. I saw more of Bulgaria than most Bulgarians. I swam. I climbed. Mostly I walked.

I could go on for a while, but the main thing seems to be that Bulgaria is a land of opposites. That's really what has struck me the whole time I have been here. It is sometimes one thing or the other, and many times both at the same time. It is for this reason I think that is why it is so hard to sum up my time here, but I hope some day to be able to do so.

For now, I will be heading off on a month of travel to help clear my head and take advantage of my being in Europe. My itinerary is as follows: Sofia, Bulgaria - Nis, Serbia - Sarajevo, Bosnia - Dubrovnik, Croatia - Split, Croatia - Ljubljana, Slovenia - Prague, Czech Republic - Brussels, Belgium - Ypres, Belgium - Bruges, Belgium - Amsterdam, Holland - Reykjavik, Iceland - America. Along the way I hope to give some small updates on what places are like and how it's going.

It is hard to believe I am leaving Bulgaria, the place that I have called home for the past 2 years, tomorrow. Many people here have asked me if I will be coming back, and I say of course I will. But in a way I know that part of me will always be in Bulgaria, and part of Bulgaria will always be in me.

2 Years

"We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and to know the place for the first time."
-T. S. Eliot

Two years ago today I stepped off the plane into my Bulgarian Peace Corps experience. After a couple of days getting to know the other members of my group, I boarded a plane to a place half a world away into an experience I could never have expected and could never forget. I can remember vividly those first few confusing, desperate hours... Landing in Sofia and immediately being shepherded into a bus, lured by strange Bulgarian chocolate bars (later to become an addiction known as "vafla" haha) in a half-aware state not quite awake, but unable to sleep. We stopped in a small town along the way and I made my first purchase in Bulgarian leva - Spinach and Cheese flavored Bake Rolls (later to become another staple in my life). After nodding off a couple of times, we rolled into the mountain village of Panichishte, greeted with bread and honey by traditionally-clothed locals.

The rest of that first week has become somewhat of a blur, but I can vividly remember saying to a camera "This is life right now," and really believing it, until the camera turned off and I realized that it was an incredibly pretentious thing to say. Moments later we were whisked off to our training site, Krainitsi, and life would never be the same.

Over these two years I've forged some really deep friendships with my fellow volunteers - people I couldn't dream of forgetting. I traveled to 9 different countries. I've done some incredible things with the kids here, including coordinating 2 camps, creating a fitness room, teaching children how to read and encouraging them to make positive life decisions. I have not only gotten to know many incredible Bulgarian people, but have also been accepted as part of their families (thank you Baba!). I've become fluent in a language that most people never even knew existed. I've seen all the ups and downs of this beautiful yet enigmatic country - climbed its mountains, swam in its Black Sea waters, and admired its traditions amidst its beautifully blooming countrysides.

Next week I will go to my Close of Service Conference, during which I will start the process of wrapping up my experience here and moving on the the next phase of my life. This will be the last goodbye to some of the people in my group - a group that lost over a third of its members since meeting for the first time in that conference room in Washington DC. I am among the survivors, and incredibly proud that I have come this far. It's something that can accurately be called a journey - full of joy and turmoil, confidence and confusion, intense and unbearable heat and bone-chilling uninsulated and unheated cold.

In less than 3 months we will leave this country and assume our "normal" lives. But what does that mean if life in this place has become so seemingly normal? I can't wait to find out.

Until next time.

Trip to Greece (after a blog hiatus)

I made my last blog post in the beginning of March. As the end of April approaches, I am sorry to say that I have sat down several times to write a blog, but couldn't find the words. Over the next couple of days I will try to remedy that situation.

Much has happened, the biggest of which has been a visit from my family to Bulgaria, the completion of my fitness room project at the orphanage, and a trip to Athens (from which I just returned last night). These large scale events always make writing much easier for me, because sometimes it takes something big to make me recognize all of the smaller noteworthy things, reflect on them, and then finally share them with everyone. So I'll start with the event that's still the most fresh in my mind - the trip to Greece, and then I'll work back from there, and hopefully the momentum will help get the words out.

Originally I had planned to go to Belgium, and had booked a flight out there and made all the necessary reservations and plans and everything. The first flight got cancelled due to the situation arising from the Icelandic ash that blanketed northwestern Europe for a bit. I arranged for a flight a few days later hoping that everything would be cleared up, and upon arrival to the airport a few hours early, it seemed that everything was a go. However, at 4:30am, the departure board suddenly changed to show a big red "cancelled" notification next to my flight again. A young Belgian couple next to me contemplated taking a bus from Sofia to Paris, and then on to Brussels. I contemplated following them (since the window in which I could take vacation was closing), if only that trip wouldn't have taken over 36 hours. My best laid plans had suddenly been lost in the volcanic ash forever, and so I trudged back temporarily vacationless to Sofia's center to reformulate things.

After a time, I got it into my head that I would head south into neighboring Greece. Armed with my guidebook and a sleepless mind, I quickly pulled together something vaguely resembling a trip, and would spend 4 nights in Athens and its environs. It struck me as I finished making these hasty plan and laid down for a quick couch nap before heading to the bus station that this is probably the only time in my life I will have been able to, almost completely on a whim, change my travel plans form one continental extreme to another. The next morning, I woke up in Greece.

Athens had always been a place high on my list of places I wanted to visit, having studied Greek mythology and history for a majority of my childhood. The stories always captivated me, and instilled in me a deep interest in history. It was exciting to finally step off the bus and have everything made real.

I think the first thing that struck me was how big and modern the the city of Athens is. I think in visiting these historic places we originally have this romantic notion that it's all ruins and history, without stopping to think that over the course of 3000 years, a very real city has developed on the same spot. The result is an awesome layering effect - having ancient ruins laying directly beneath newer buildings from the late 1800s and then modern architecture topping it all. This creates a real sense of place while walking around town.

After arriving I walked directly to the center, where I had a quick breakfast and then headed straight on to tackle the sights - the most impressive of which is the gigantic Acropolis, to which I'll dedicate another separate blog post.

There's Always Something

It’s been a long time since my last update, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s because of laziness, maybe an inability to put my thoughts into words lately, but not for lack of things to write about.

There’s always something to write about.

Several things have come and gone, some of them noteworthy enough to write a blog post about (my fitness room project coming up will get a blog post soon), some of them somewhat newsworthy but not exciting or interesting enough to have a blog post written about them (my birthday and the Super Bowl, or Kukeri which I posted about last year), and many of them not exciting or interesting at all (going about my daily life, or how I do laundry seemingly every day now).

So with all that in the mix it gets harder to work up a blog post of any substance. I like writing about things that I feel have some weight to them. I like the end result of what I write to be a fully thought out result of an observation I make, or a trip I go on, or something of the sort. And I hope the end result comes out well on the side of the reader. That is unless you readers would like me to write up a daily account that would read more like a to-do list than anything cohesive or (what I would perceive as) interesting.

The reason I was inspired to write something today was from a quote taken from a conversation I had with my coworker the other day. We were discussing an unfortunate event that happened earlier in the day. A couple of the orphanage boys skipped out on class, stole some bags and started running. They were eventually caught, but the damage was already done. The boys were scheduled to be transferred from the VP orphanage to a different one. The discussion was hardly surprising, but what took me was what she said during a pause in the conversation.

“There is always something to be angry about.”

Now I suppose this is true, but it seemed to capture the essence of working here perfectly. This is a place in which you have to pick your battles, to focus on the good things that happen, and to take every day one step at a time. Often the situation here is to forget those common pieces of advice and to expect everything from everyone all the time. When someone thinks that things should be perfect all the time, of course you’re going to be constantly angry.

However, it’s not just a reaction, but an expectation. People (including myself) have fallen into the trap of expecting something bad to happen at any time. When we have the expectation that something will get on our nerves or go horribly wrong, the chances are we will highlight it when it does. It also clouds our ability to seek out the positive things during the day. So of course, with this mindset of expecting to get angry, a host of problems arise. We identify the children we work with as being impossible to help rather than searching for their strengths and developing them (the view of most people here in town). We treat children as problems to be dealt with rather than individuals who are constantly learning and gathering information about the world around them.

And with that being said, the danger is that children develop the same view from the influence of the people they learn from - that they are problems that need to be dealt with, or could do something that will cause an anger explosion at any time. The expectation becomes that they cannot change who they are, and who they are is a bad kid who cannot do good, or is stupid, or will never do anything of consequence in their lives. The case today may have stemmed from our expectations of them as “bad kids.” The boys might as well have carried the label as a bumper sticker on their foreheads. And of course they played the part today. And of course people were angry about it.

But this is to ignore the good things that happened on the same day. This is to ignore the positive steps taken by other kids. Rather than thinking that there is always something to be angry about we should remind ourselves that something positive happens every day. More than that, children are constantly developing in positive ways that we cannot readily identify in the moment. Admittedly this is more difficult, and very hard to see day to day. That’s what makes being in this line of work so challenging, and at many times frustrating. The progress isn’t always easily evident. There may not be a clear talking point at the end of the day, while bad events are readily identifiable and easy to latch on to.

It’s just a matter of training yourself to believe that one small, hard to identify positive outweighs the gigantic negative.

Until next time...

Back in Action and the Great Customs Runaround

Hey everyone!

It’s been a while since my last real update due to some unexpected computer problems. Basically the screen would just randomly start going blank, forcing a restart. Eventually, when I turned it on one time about 2 months ago, I was greeted with a screen full of white lines rather than the friendly Windows logo. After a couple of minutes of trying to figure out what was going on, the computer started randomly turning on and off and on by itself. It was at this point that I know this wasn’t going to be a simple process.

That can't be good...

Luckily the machine is still under warranty, but the service is only available in the States. So my laptop was packed up and entrusted to the Bulgarian postal service under the disguise of a package of Bibles being delivered to a church… the church of my mom’s house. (I still declared the computer on the customs form, but drew crosses all over the box).

Eventually it got there and a technician basically gutted the whole thing, replacing the motherboard, video card and a cooling fan. So yes, basically the problem was pretty major after all, but completely fixable. The process of picking it up when it got back here to Bulgaria, however, was not quite as easy… I got the usual notice in my mailbox alerting me that a package arrived. However, when I arrived at the post office, I was informed that I would have to pick it up in Shumen (the regional center) where it was being held in a customs office. Note to anyone sending anything to Bulgaria: Never declare that something you send has commercial value. The following process will ensue:

I arrived at the customs office in Shumen, where I was informed that I would have to pay a customs fee. Pretty standard procedure I thought, but then Bulgaria stepped in and wiped that thought right away. It wasn’t as simple as handing the customs officer the tax and him giving me the package. Instead, I had to go to a third party who would process the customs form, because strangely, the customs office doesn’t do it. After sitting for an hour in an office with another gentleman who processed the forms while talking to himself about bureaucracy and to me about Russia (“No people, no problems” he told me, a quote he attributed to Stalin), I took the form back down to the customs officers, who told me that I would now have to pay the customs fee. I should have been more surprised when they told me the customs office doesn’t accept money from people. Instead, I had to go to the bank, where they would take the money and wire a notice back to the customs office that the fee had been paid. But not just any bank… there’s apparently one bank in the whole city that can do this. It’s on the complete other side of town. I took a cab to this bank on the edge of town, where I was greeted by a friendly clerk who processed the fee. The bank’s motto was hilariously “Blizo do Vas!” ironically translated to “Close to you!” I laughed to myself the entire 10 minute cab ride back to the customs office, where the officers told me that everything was in order. I expected to receive my package, but was then informed that the package was not there, but back at the post office. On my way back to the post office (4 hours after I first arrived at customs), I wondered what exactly the customs officers do - they don’t process the customs forms, take the money, or handle the packages – other than make a simple exchange ridiculously difficult.

Anyway, the computer is back in my care, good as new, and I’m back on the grid (at least for the time being) just in time for some pretty exciting business. I’ve also had some pretty amazing experiences while the computer was out hurtling around the world. I’ll be getting around to posting about each of these, and hopefully including some nice photos and video (I have about 450 photos from the past couple months). I’ve seen ancient cave paintings and rock formations, trained some new volunteers, taught kids America’s pastime, hiked around in endless sunflower fields, and been rocked like a hurricane. So enjoy!

Until next time…

Off the Grid

Hey everyone,

Lately I've had some major computer problems and so I sent it back to the States to get repaired. In the meantime, I'm using the local internet cafe, which doesn't really afford me much of a possibility to write blog posts. That's not to say that interesting things aren't happening - I've been helping out with the training of the new group of volunteers (the b25s), and I traveled to the town of Belogradchik to see the famous rock formations (one of the candidates to be one of the new 7 natural wonders of the world) and cave paintings from between 12000-6000 BC. When I get the whole computer situation sorted out I'll be sure to get into more details about these and some other things with pics and videos and all the good stuff that I've put up in the past. Until then, shoot me an email and I'll try to get back to you when I can (which is to say when this 8 year old computer I'm using decides to get back to you).

Until next time...

New Camera, Spring Break, and 50th Post Extravaganza

Well faithful readers, we’ve hit a big milestone. This is my 50th post here on Greg in Bulgaria. There’s been some interesting moments and a lot of good times, but it’s not nearly over yet. The updates will keep on coming until there’s nothing left to say. Luckily, there’s a whole lot left, so stay tuned!

This weekend I headed out to the nearby city of Shumen on a mission. I needed a new camera. As you may know, my old one broke during the Kukeri trip and so it has been in the shop for the rest of March. Well, I got it back, and they were able to fix some of the things. However, most of the buttons remained out of service (including the zoom in/out button, review button and menu button). They informed me that to make over the whole camera back to fully working condition would cost more than a new camera. So I went to the TechnoMarket in Shumen (the BG version of Best Buy) and picked up a good little Samsung. I’m able to share photos again, and just in time for some interesting things around town too… Lucky you!


The kids are all out for Spring Break here in Bulgaria, which is awesome for them, but means more work for me… yay! Actually, it’s a lot of fun hanging out with the kids on break. Plus, we have fewer children in the orphanage during vacations. Here in Bulgaria, some families can send their children to live at an orphanage if they cannot afford them, with the option of taking them back during vacation times. This leaves the children who actually don’t have parents at the orphanage during these times. A little over half of the children stay, which lets me spend more time with them, and also relieves some of the stress of working with 80 children at a time.

Spring Break seemed to come at the absolute perfect time. Trees and flowers are in bloom. The Sunday market lasts longer. Cafes have started putting tables outside. People are actually walking around and act like they’re happy to be outside. Lovely. It’s consistently warm here now, allowing us to start some sports and outdoor activities at the nearby basketball court and the local stadium. Every day, it’s been above 60 degrees – ideal for running around with the kids.

I’ve been running by myself, too. The Athens Marathon is slated for November 8th, and I’m planning on being there. Now that the weather has warmed up I have started training, and have fallen into a pretty good routine, upping the distance every once and a while. There’s some shorter distance races near me in the coming months, so that will help out as well.

Even though I won’t be getting a good chance at a long break for a while (probably not until summer), I’m really looking forward to the coming weeks and months, and am feeling very motivated. I have plenty of interesting activities to hold me over, and a lot of plans I’m getting ready to start following through on. Even so, I really can’t wait to get out and explore the areas around Bulgaria. A few other volunteers have already taken excursions into Turkey, Greece, and Romania. There’s plenty of time left to see it all though… definitely enough to carry a good 50 more posts!

Until next time…

Peace Corps Journals

I made it onto http://www.peacecorpsjournals.com/! I am pretty much addicted to this site. It's a huge collection of blogs from volunteers serving in every country the Peace Corps is posted in. I've provided a link to the Bulgaria section of the site in my links section ("Other Peace Corps Bulgaria Blogs") so anyone interested can get some other perspectives on life in Peace Corps Bulgaria. It's weird seeing all these other people who have been over there in BG for one or two years (or longer!), sitting right there next to my brand new blog... not even over there serving yet...

Also, the other day I found the first other person that will be serving with me in my group. The person posted on the yahoo peace corps group. It's starting to come together... exciting!

Welcome!

Hello everyone! If you're reading this you probably know me, but if you don't, my name is Greg Herb, and this is my Peace Corps blog. I am currently 22 years old and a recent graduate from Florida State University with double majors in Psychology and Child Development. I'll be serving in Bulgaria as a youth development worker beginning July 18, 2008. This site will be primarily used to keep friends, family, and anyone else interested informed about what and how I'm doing over there...

Until then I'll be updating pretty infrequently, posting some of the details about how I got to this point, about preparations for service, and maybe some other random thoughts. So, whoever you are, wherever you may be, please... sit back, relax, and enjoy.